The one thing to remember about news from the Ukraine

"Great part of the information obtained in war is contradictory, a still greater part is false, and by far the greatest part is of a doubtful character. ... In a few words, most reports are false, and the timidity of men acts as a multiplier of lies and untruths. As a general rule every one is more inclined to lend credence to the bad than the good."

-- Carl von Clausewitz, On War 

Afghani president stands on the runway, waves U.S. troops goodbye

The U.S., which currently has troops in so many different nations it's a wonder we haven't gone to war with ourselves, wants our Afghani friends to know we aren't bluffing about taking all our troops home:

Statements by the White House and Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel showed President Barack Obama's impatience with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai's refusal to sign the agreement that would keep several thousand American troops in the country after combat operations conclude this year.¹

The agreement in question would put our troops outside the jurisdiction of what can laughingly be described as the Afghanistan legal system. The White House is confused about Mr. Karzai's intransigence on the issue. It is a simple pact, much like the ones we have with other hundred or so governments currently playing host to our troops and it has mostly worked out fine for them.

It's almost as if President Karzai believes the 3,000 U.S. troops wouldn't be enough to keep him in² power but would be enough to piss off large parts of various heavily armed constituencies. Go figure.³

That's the thanks we get after shoving Karzai into the presidency and giving him wooden pallets loaded with millions of dollars in cash that we didn't keep track of. Don't you hate it when people won't stay bought?

The fascinating thing is we are still hoping he will sign the damn thing even though he just let 65 Taliban prisoners walk out of jail despite our pleas. (Pentagon spokesman Col. Steve Warren says this constitutes a “major step backward” in Afghanistan’s “rule of law.” He even said it with a straight face.) Because of all this Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-The Secession State) is threatening to cut off all U.S. developmental aid until after the Afghani election in early April. Given how much of our money President Karzai is currently sitting on this isn't really much of a threat. The good president is theoretically barred by law from running again, so if anything he is thinking of his post-presidential legacy of staying alive.

While we're on the topic of wishful thinking,Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, predicted a grim future for Afghanistan if U.S. troops leave. His comments came in the wake of a warning from the Pakistan government⁴ (or at least the portion we've paid off today) that withdrawing U.S. troops will lead to civil war. To both of these sage pieces of advice the people of Afghanistan can only say, "And this would be different ... how?"

All of this is the result of the kind of magical thinking that pervades the top levels of U.S. foreign policy. Speaking a thing does not make it so.Our inability to see things from the vassal state's point of view is probably the only constant in our dealings with the rest of the world.

1: Baghdad has been hit by wave after wave of bombings since April as the precarious peace enjoyed since the end of Iraq's sectarian war in 2008 has unraveled." --Reuters

2: Just like Michael Bloomberg.

3: "If they are concerned about training and enhancing the Afghan military forces, they could have done it in the past 12 years. ... If they think the presence of 3,000 troops is enough to enhance Afghan forces – that doesn't make sense. It’s very likely that they may have these 3,000 troops only for intelligence purposes, for a larger agenda that they have at hand, maybe [concerning] Russia, China, or some other purpose." --Mohammed Daud Miraki, ultra-nationalist Afghan activist and writer.

4: How do you say “mendacious” in Punjabi?